We know that, you’re tired of having a belly the size of Siberia. But you can rest assured: no matter what happens, there will come a time when the alien squatting on your uterus will eventually leave. But until that day comes, there are a few things you should avoid doing for your mental health before giving birth.
1Listen To Your Buddy Tell You About His Delivery
And hear him tell in detail the 72 hours of the birth of his child, including episiotomy, suction cup and cesarean section. No, if she really has to tell you that, at least wait until you’ve laid your bacon too, otherwise you’ll have to be very careful.
Or any other show that talks about childbirth. In any case, it will make you cry, but it will most likely cause you to panic, especially if you come across a special program for babies who are deformed at birth, an epidural that doesn’t work or something like that. Turn off that TV right now.
3Get Drunk On Your Face
Just because you’re supposed to have a baby in two days doesn’t mean you can force the booze, right, at least wait until your baby is out of your body. You’ve managed to last nine months, you can still hold on for 48 hours.
4Weighing You Down
What a stupid idea to want to weigh yourself a few days before the birth. Unless you are a bit of a masochist and like to torture yourself psychologically, there is no point in seeing the numbers on a scale telling you that you have gained 6 kg since last week.
5Try On Your Pre-Pregnancy Clothes
It’s kind of like the snitch, why are you doing this to yourself? You know very well that you can forget about your size 36 jeans for months to come, even forever, so why are you trying to put a leg in them? You want to cry, don’t you?
6Go To Doctissimo Or Babycenter
Or any website of the kind that will tell you that if you have contractions only on the left side of your stomach it’s because you’re dying with your baby inside as a bonus. Turn off your computer, and breathe, you’re fine. And if you’re really worried, only a doctor or a midwife can tell you what’s really going on.
7To Wax The SIF
With pregnancy, your nerve endings are a little more clever than usual. Basically, this is clearly not the time to do a SIF hair removal, at the risk of suffering martyrdom, even more than usual.
8Change Your Mind
And to tell you that after all, you don’t want to be pregnant at all, it gets you drunk. Yeah well, it’s a little late now, compared to the fact that you already have a huge belly and a baby who kicks your ass with well-placed kicks, it’s a little complicated to go back there.
9Listening To Your Mother-In-Law
Who already gives you 2378 tips per minute on how to raise her grandson/daughter, how to put him to bed, how to breastfeed him (when you don’t even want to breastfeed), and she will even want you to change your mind about the first name you will give her. Run away from her like the plague.
10Not Getting Enough Rest
No matter how much you hear the parents of the world telling you “enjoy sleeping as much as you can before, because after it’s going to be hot,” well, worry only about your head and you don’t get enough rest. As a result, you already have dark circles before you even start work, and you’re going to get very expensive during the first few months without sleep. Well, you had to listen to what you were told, too, huh. And what the hell did you do before you gave birth?